An Unexpectedly Long Ramble

I was recently cleaning out my work archives and such and ran across a note I’d sent to my “Leadership Academy” mentor in June of 2008.  Here’s an excerpt:

“I'm reading a couple of books I've selected for Leadership Academy, and to be honest, so far it's been slow going.  However, I'm also reading a focused selection of essays for fun, and I was just caught by this passage:

‘I have spent a lifetime trying to become a better _____, but as the years fly by and I look back with a middle-aged man's regret at things I wish I'd done and things I wish I hadn't, I find I want to be a better person more than I want to be a better ____________.  Curiously, I think striving to become the latter has nudged me at least a little way toward becoming the former.’

Don't worry, I was less intrigued by the middle-aged regrets than by the process of self-improvement via the pursuit of passions and reflection there-of.

When we get together, I'll let you guess what the writer's pursuit has been.”

Anyway, I don’t recall having written this, but apparently " the process of self-improvement via the pursuit of passions and reflection there-of” had taken root in me by mid-2008.  And I’m glad to recognize that, because I had a couple of the best months of my life at that time (pre-back pain, the occasional “aha” moment at work, progress on the New MAERS and an awesome family vacation to The Rockies come to mind immediately.)  But the words are still relevant today, and dare I suggest they even provide some legitimacy to my blogging and retailing efforts (?; because it often feels “stupid” when I’m doing non-fishing stuff at C’s when I could be at home or even {actually} fishing.)  I’d like to think there are benefits to these efforts beyond Fame and Fortune (both of which are really piling up.)

So…

·      You (and you know who you are) are good friends.  Thanks.  I enjoy your company.  I like bouncing things off you.  You will clarify my thoughts.  It may take years; but that’s my issue.

·      I am confused about many things, but I surely do love my girls.  My focus on their well-being provides the framework for putting up with just about anything.

·      Thank goodness for Fishing!  And Woodworking and Philately and Mimes and such; I am sure these interests hone our talents, whether we realize it or not, and where else do we immerse ourselves so completely?  When else are we so present?

·      Whenever we’re smart enough to dope slap ourselves and remember those good things; our friends, our close families, and our ability to explore our passions!

·      There’s some sort of cycle here; we live, taking care of essentials, because what other option is there?  But we live well, as we engage in our interests and grow, because we choose to.  In turn, we take care of the essentials with a little more grace.  Perhaps this grace spins off some more opportunities for fun.

Am I developing/adopting some sort of Taoist/Daoist Yin-Yang theory (^^^) that while our passions make our lives bearable/more fulfilling, the blind pursuit of the passion is meaningless, without the context of those other parts of our lives?  So it’s not about the fishing, but rather about how, having fished, I’m more able to be good to those around me?  Or productive?  Or helpful?  Or at peace? Or Conscientious, Open, Knowledgeable and Empathetic? 

How should I look at such a proposition? 

·      As simple Humanism?

·      As my Unifying Principle? 

·      As a core component of Numenonism?  Or,

·      As so damned obvious that it scarcely warrants writing down?

I simply don’t know.#

***** 

(^^^) I am writing this off the top of my head and so I am unburdened by fact, care, or fear of ignorance.  This sounds correct, but I may be really mucking up western understanding of these philosophies.  I might choose or learn to be more careful for different audiences.

# So many of my recent writings and attempts have ended (or could have ended) with this statement.  I am a confused individual; I'd like to think that these are simply confusing times and that I'll just ride the currents gracefully and to a good end.  That's a much better plan than wading perpetually upstream like a fly-fishing Tantalus, or even worse, simply stumbling about.