Names

Names

What’s in a name?  It depends.  A simple word can beautifully describe an emergency adult undergarment, yet be a horrible moniker for your boat.  Names can be useful, descriptive, deceptive, mistaken, just plain fun, or just plain wrong.  Providing a meaningful name to each of her bass became as important to my youngest last trip as actually catching them; sometimes I can see that she's truly a chip off this old block. 

Just about everybody names their boat.  Mine’s Numenon. By way of explanation, see my original post, or just accept it as a type of mayfly.  But how about tow vehicles?  I don’t even want to think about my original couple of towers, but by 1992 or so I had accumulated enough wealth to get a 1992 Chevy Work P/U Truck, and that simple truck served me dependably until my family outgrew it.  What it lacked in flash and good looks, it made up for in dependability, sensibility, and Mid-west charm.  This truck became “Bob Dole”, and like him, lasted for near forever.  Bob Dole never let me down, but he never exactly excited anybody.

More kids means the need for more room, so I moved on to a 1997 GMC Yukon.  I’ll never again own a nicer truck for towing.  Roomy, smooth, leather and air; enough power and braking ability to tow anything without breaking a sweat.  So big, so white, so superior… I’m embarrassed to say that she became “White Sup******”.  But like all other White Sup*********s, she was at heart really crappy, caused lots of worry and problems, didn’t accomplish much and didn’t last very long.

So now I’m in a burgundy 2006 Toyota 4Runner.  She hasn’t exerted her personality to date, other than being everything I expected.  Simply based on her color, she’s become “Ron Burgundy” of Anchorman fame.  But as I’m composing this, I realize that “Anchorman” is a much better boat name; Ron Burgundy only superficially describes this truck, and so she’s being re-named “Bob”, simply because Al Yankovic has reminded me in his song Bob, that “A Toyota’s a Toyota!”

In addition to “Anchorman”, boat names in my future might include “Bunker Boy”, “Squid Hound”, or “Ichthusiast”.  There’s a zillion other possibilities, and I often capture these on sticky notes; but each of the above conveys, in some manner, my passions.  Of course, I can always keep “Merely Phlegm”, “Phlogiston”, and “MILF-OIL” in my back pocket.

My boat prior to Numenon was the “Mrs. Paul” based on my perception that she was a major provider of food fish, and that her catches greatly affected (indeed controlled!) market prices.  My current small tin boat is “Arracuda” based on the fact that the “B” has broken off her manufacturer’s name plate, and also based on the availability of a really cool guitar riff (courtesy of Heart) whenever she comes up in thought or conversation.  Originally I thought she’d be “On F’Eyre” in homage to a steelheading mentor, but when a name sticks, you can’t mess with it.

Of course, boats and trucks cost a lot of money, and it might just be more affordable or economically sensible to just have a few more kids.  Social Science will be served when I name my future twins “Erudite and Troglodyte”, or “Dexter and Sinister”, and I’ve always wanted a little girl named “Clytemnestra”, “Penelope”, or “Persephone”.