(This was has been languishing (seasoning?) a while...maybe it's still appropriate.)
Another Fathers’ Day just passed, and I had a very satisfactory one. The day was low-key and relaxed, I spent some time with my local girls (while keeping in touch with my East Coaster), I fished, and I even caught a couple of decent bass. I had a pair of muskies tracking my glide bait, and when my muskie lake got too crowded for my taste, I transferred my boat and attentions to my favorite local lake. I was pleased to find that the construction situation there has been a blessing in disguise, in that it seems to have actually limited the overall use of the lake. So I was able to stay out and enjoy myself later than usual without too much marine traffic; and when I got home, there was my trusty dog, a cold beverage, a spaghetti dinner, a new baseball book and a thoughtful, hand-written Fathers’ Day note! Please let me re-phrase; it was a truly satisfactory day.
Moreover, it was a day off work and I had some time to
think! The best part about parenting or
a Parent’s Special Day is the realization that your children are doing well;
indeed, that they’re flourishing. Both
kids are embarking upon interesting, productive summers that have the potential
for shaping their lives, and they’re both doing so with the necessary
confidence and tools to get the most out of their experiences. So, on this day, I felt contentment, and
overall pretty confident that I’ve done a good parenting job (so far); and I
had few distractions from these thoughts.
But what distractions I did have simply provided reinforcement for my line of thinking. There have been a few recent health issues
affecting family, friends and co-workers.
But extra visiting and mobile support systems kicked in (seemingly
automatically, although I know that everybody sacrifices in these situations),
all seem to be in good hands currently, and we generally seem to have the
collective resources and ability to handle situations as they arise. I know we can’t necessarily control outcomes,
but we can certainly manage the process to the best of our abilities. Simply knowing this is empowering, and I
admire the grace so routinely exhibited by others in our everyday lives.
But, back to Fathers’ Day; in fact, back to Mothers’
Day. My mom doesn’t especially enjoy
Mothers’ Day, and so I’ve learned to down-play this occasion. This year, I probably down-played it too
much, though, and that didn’t feel right.
So I had decided to make it a point to acknowledge her on Fathers’ Day,
for surely I wouldn’t be the father I am without her guidance and efforts; and
since my dad has passed, why shouldn’t I acknowledge her at this time? Of course, on this day she was travelling to
care for another; she was hot and tired, and our conversation was rushed; and
these words were left largely unspoken.
Crap and shith; I missed the opportunity.
About the same time as all this, my work environment had experienced
the loss of a long-time leader; it was especially rough on a good friend of
mine, from who I’ve learned a lot. I was
able to spontaneously share these thoughts. Based on their spontaneity, I think
they’re genuine:
“My closest experience with this was with my Dad. In
the end he left my Mom in good shape and his pain was gone. I’ve not a
single bad thought about him, and while I miss him; he’s not in pain.
He’s more alive in my memories than he was physically able to be for many
years. All is good with me and my Dad.”
So, regardless of whether you
are a mother, father, son or daughter; I hope you are fortunate enough to
distill your most meaningful relationships down to their foundations of pure
trust, respect and love.
What’s this got to do with South
Haven? I recently took this particular
friend’s wife, daughter and father-in-law out for a morning of salmon
fishing out of this small Lake Michigan port. Three generations, on my boat
at the same time. Because I’m the youngest
of the youngest, this has rarely happened for me. It was a beautiful day with a few beautiful
fish, and I’d be hard pressed to say who (aboard Numenon) enjoyed it the most.
All I can say is that I had a great day.
It was a high-light in a season that so far has featured some really
nice fish! And while I’d have loved to share it with my parent(s) and
child(ren), I can’t help but realize that they’ve all prepared me to share, and to recognize, such fine moments.
“Thanks!”
 |
| Kings captured by the youngster; photo by the grandfather. |
No comments:
Post a Comment