Honey Boo Boo and her Mama crept into my consciousness
during a period of convalescence last year, and something the matriarch shared
has stayed with me. In reference to the appearance
of customers at a local Summer’s Fair, she noted something very close to this;
“Vajiggle-jaggle ain’t too beautimous!”
Pot/Kettle, Preacher/Choir, it’s too easy to even comment on the source
of this statement, but her unique eloquence at the very least made this a
memorable string of (almost) words, perhaps never before spoken in the History
of Language.
Now Spring has sprung in West Michigan, and we’ve quickly
transitioned from Winter to Summer.
Heating and cooling systems are lagging behind in response, and many
public places (including the store) are simply too warm. Folks, let me tell you, the coats are off, and the v-j is out! And while such
appearances might be uniquely American (at least in abundance and
concentration), there’s a certain West Michigan contribution to this style.
My main employment is in a business building in the downtown
of Michigan’s second largest and arguably most thriving city. And yet I was recently confronted with the
owner of a XXXXL Beauty School Sweatshirt.
I was awestricken by the irony of such an expansive article of clothing
advertising a local Beauty School, but I was doubly stricken by the fact that
it was, in fact, two sizes too small.
This reminded me of an electronic post card I’d received in
the past. The first screen depicted a
French Beauty with “Paris, France!” as a caption. I won’t describe the second screen, but let’s
instead leave it to the imagination; just know that “Paris, Michigan!” served
as the caption.
What’s this got to do with Numenon or Fishing? On
perhaps one of the most beautiful spring days in West Michigan history, one
that was soon to become the most enjoyable Lake Michigan Weekday Brown Trout
Fishing Excursion Ever, I stole away from work at noon to pick up my boat. But first, I needed provisions, so I went to
the local Subway. This was several years
ago, when Subway first started offering different breads. I waited, second in line, while the Mountain
of a Person in front of me discussed the relative health benefits of the various
bread offerings with the Sandwich Artist.
After much hemming and hawing, a Combo Meal involving the 12-inch steak
and cheese sub with chips was selected; but (to accommodate health aspects?)
with a large Diet Coke!
A large Diet Coke!
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